The Lioness and the Black Widow 12

I watched the streetlights pass by in the night. As I rode in the passenger seat of the Lincoln, The Duchess at the wheel, she hummed the melody to “Close to You” so sweetly. I dozed off and fell asleep, my forehead pressed against the cold glass.

I woke up on a grey cement floor. I sat up and looked around. I was a large cell. There were no windows, just a heavy steel door. There was a wood table in the middle of the cell. The Duchess was seated at the table in the only chair. Other than that, the cell was empty except for an aluminum bucket in a corner. The only light in the cell came from a dim yellow bulb on the ceiling.

The Duchess’ long red hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a long black leather skirt with a royal-blue turtle-neck sweater and black leather boots. Dark sunglasses concealed her eyes. Leather gloves covered her hands. A platinum skull pendent hung between her breasts.

She took a sip from a steaming hot cup of coffee and lit a cigarette. She didn’t speak with her lips. I heard her voice in my mind, “This is a hard room to be alone in, especially when the light is off. One is left alone with their thoughts, their fear, their sadness. Do you remember your first experience with solitude in a dark empty room?” Images from my earliest years flashed through my mind. “Do you remember the emotions you felt?” I saw myself screaming alone in an apartment without furniture. My eyes became hot and wet as I saw the tears flow from the eyes of the image of my early self.

The light went out in the room and a sudden wave of terror swept over me. I heard myself screaming. An intense mixture of fear and despair gripped me, it felt as if my insides were being crushed. The feeling was very familiar, though I didn’t remember experiencing such a deep and painful anguish ever before. The pain was worsened by a yearning, a longing, a question in my mind that would not stop repeating itself, ‘Where is she?’

The light came back on. I felt a tremendous sense of relief when I saw The Duchess still seated at the table. Her voice said, “It’s okay Clarence. I’m still here. Does it make you feel better to know that I’m still in the room with you? Would you like to spend the next two days in here alone in the dark? I could go lay down in the other room, curl up in a blanket and torture you with your own thoughts.” I saw myself naked, huddled in a corner of the cell trembling, covered in my own feces.

“Do you want me to stay in here with you Clarence? You know that you can’t lie to me. I’m inside your head. I know that you desperately hope I will stay, while you anticipate my departure. In order for me to stay, I will need to be entertained. How far are you willing to go to keep me entertained Clarence?” Images of her naked body flashed in my mind. I remembered the sight of her glistening, wet flesh when I bathed her. I remembered having my face pressed against her bare thighs as she held my head under the water until everything went black. A wave of euphoria, combined with a feeling of security and relief, swept over me. I felt her arms around my neck as she pulled me to her breasts and held me. “CLARENCE!” I looked up to see her still seated at the table smoking.
“How come the ‘Clarence’ inside your head is so much different from the ‘Clarence’ you present to the world around you?” The word ‘PRETENDER’ flashed in my mind in big black letters. “More importantly, how come the ‘Clarence’ inside your head is so much different from the person you believe yourself to be?” The word ‘DENIAL’ followed by the word, ‘INEFFECTUAL’ flashed in my head.

“Why are you lying on the floor like a loathsome animal that lacks dignity. Stand up!” I rose to my feet. “Take off your clothes.” I hesitated. “Don’t pretend that you don’t want to do everything, and anything, I tell you to do.” I removed my clothes and threw them in a pile on the floor.

“You have a nice cock.” A comforting warmth covered my body accompanied by a budding pride. “How does it make you feel when a woman can’t get enough of your cock?” The words ‘MASCULINE’ ‘ALIVE’ ‘CONTENT’ flashed in my mind. “Masculine, alive and content huh? Content…that’s interesting. So, I’m guessing that when you’re fucking, that’s the only time you are able to completely focus on your only strength, and thereby allow yourself to ignore the fact that you are stupid, incompetent, cowardly and lazy. When you bust that nut it’s sort of like your moment of glory, like a runner bursting through the tape with his arms outstretched as he crosses the finish line. That’s your special moment to escape the undeniable fact that you are such a fucking disappointment.” The word ‘FAILURE’ flashed repeatedly in my mind. I felt my shoulders slump; my dick hung limp; a mockery of my manhood. The Duchess began humming “Close to You” again.

“Come closer to the table.” I took a couple steps toward her. “Closer.” I took a few more reluctant steps. “Kneel down. On your knees.” I hesitated. “What? Am I not good enough for you to kneel before? I’m the woman who saved your pathetic wasted life. I pulled you out the car and stood over you, rifle in hand, defending you as you laid curled up in a ball on the ground. I didn’t leave you at Medea’s, I was outside waiting for you; while your punk-ass was inside betraying me. ME! The woman who rode side by side with you in the trenches, the woman who protected you. You know what? Fuck it. I’m leaving. You can sit in here by yourself.” I got down on my knees. The Duchess put her cigarette out on the table, never speaking. Her expression didn’t change, her dark sunglasses stared through me, consuming me like a star being swallowed by a black hole.

“Do you want me to suck your dick? Hahaha…And the question prompts you to visualize me with your cock in my mouth. Do you want to fuck me Clarence? Ohhhh…you do! You want to bend me over this table, pull my skirt up and give me a hard, savage fuck from behind. Do you think that I’d let you fuck me if you put your head between my thighs and kiss and lick and suck on my clit until I cum? HaHaHaHa…you hope so. I’m flattered that you fantasize about me, but I’m not into men Clarence. Maybe you can convince me to make an exception. You hope so, right?

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll stand up, take off my skirt, push my red lace panties down to my knees and lean over the desk. Then you can bury your face in my ass and lick my asshole while I get myself off. Would you do that for me Clarence?” My mind said ‘YES’. “Will you be my ass-licking slut-boy? Yes? Then say it. Say it out loud. Tell me you’ll be my ass-licking slut-boy!” I said out loud, “I’ll be your ass-licking slut-boy.”

“I want you to beg. You want it bad enough. You want to lick my ass more than I want you to do it. Beg! Beg me to let you be my ass-licking slut-boy!”

“Please Duchess…I beg you…please let me be your ass-licking slut-boy.”

“You’re a sorry excuse for a man Clarence. What you just did made me lose what little respect I had for you. I wouldn’t even let you lick my ass Clarence. I’d rather have a dog do it.” Disappointment and frustration clawed at my insides, my desire turned to anger and hate. “Ohhh…Will the real Clarence cooome oooon dowwwn! There you are, you two-faced bastard. You must be the guy who cut off that woman’s nipples with a box-cutter and tore her clit off with a pair of pliers. You’re a real fucking gentleman, you know that Clarence? Lilith, Lenore, The Fallen Angel, The Jehovah’s Witness…what the hell did she do? You raped all those women. How does that make you feel?” I felt like I was sinking down into the floor, smothered by guilt and shame.

“You’re frustrated because you’re a fucking worthless ineffectual fraction of a man, a waste of fucking life, so you take your frustration and rage out on some innocent woman who had nothing to do with you being a fucking idiot. Why don’t you go rape your mother Clarence? You fucking momma’s boy. That’s the woman who turned you into a fucking idiot. Let’s see you visualize that Clarence! Visualize fucking your mother hard and deep in the ass! HaHaHaHa…you’re a sick motherfucker Clarence! You just imagined what it would feel like to push your long, hard dick up your mother‘s…” I screamed out, “ENOUGH! STOP! PLEASE STOP!”

“It’s okay Clarence. Your time started when you woke up. That was about 20 minutes ago. Just think, you only have 47 hours and 40 minutes to go. Maybe I’ll bring someone in to announce the time every minute. You’d find out just how long a minute can take to pass. Nothing tortures like time, when ten minutes grinds by agonizingly slow, making it seem like an hour.” The cement floor made my knees ache, the pain shot up my body to my neck. My head began to pound.

“Only 47 hours and 39 minutes to go Clarence. You look tired. You must be very exhausted after these past days. You’ve had very little sleep. When is the last time you curled up under nice, thick, warm comforter, with plump, cold fluffy pillow?” Her voice hummed “Close to You” in my mind. I saw myself falling backward onto a mountain of red feathers. My eyes grew heavy, my knees felt like they were being crushed against the edge of a sharp rock.

“47 hours and 38 minutes left Clarence. Are you hungry?” The smell of roasted meat and French fries filled my nostrils. My stomach grumbled and my mouth watered. “There is something for you to eat in that bucket over there Clarence. Go look!” I was relieved to get off my knees. When I looked down into the bucket, I saw a man’s severed genitals. A large brown cockroach crawled over it. I coughed, retched and vomited bile. The stomach acids came out my nose, burning my nostrils causing my eyes to water.

“47 hours and 37 minutes Clarence. How would you like that to be your dick and balls in the bucket Clarence? I’ll saw your shit off with an old, dull and rusty hacksaw. Would that be a fitting punishment? No? What would be a fitting punishment Clarence?” My mind involuntarily replied, “For you to use me however you want.”

“Use you however I want huh? Your entire being is crying out for me to take you and use you however I want. How the fuck do you equate me fulfilling your desires with punishment? You’re one simple-minded motherfucker, you know that Clarence? Now that you’ve wasted your opportunity to choose your own punishment, I’ll choose. That means that you’re too much of a goddamn moron to look out for your own best interest and select a punishment you can handle.” I thought how relieved I was that she had stopped the countdown.

“47 hours and 36 minutes Clarence. If you want to stop the countdown. You have to eat the roach.” ‘FUCK NO’ flashed in my mind. “Fuck no, huh? I want you to eat the roach, for me, because I say so. You will do whatever I want, not because you’re trapped in a cell with me, not because I’m inside your head; but because you want to do whatever I want. It will please me if you eat the roach Clarence. To tell you truth, it will touch me to watch you do something that absolutely repulses you, to willingly cross your own lines, because you know that it will please me. You remember how easy it was to drink the cup of urine. This is just as easy. Just let go, turn your will over to me, bend down and pick up the cockroach. Now shove it in your mouth, chew it quickly and swallow it. Goood boooy Clarence.” I choked and gagged on the roach, I vomited again on the floor. I leaned against the wall and threw up roach legs and bile until my chest and throat ached from the dry heaves.

“Good job Clarence! I’m so impressed that I’m tempted to reward you by allowing you to lick my ass. But now that you’ve got the dick eating roach all over your tongue, I think I’ll pass.” I began coughing and dry heaving again. The Duchess lit another cigarette. She hadn’t yet spoken a word out loud, got up from her chair, changed the expression on her face or touched me.